tell tale heart

Years had passed,the mad man's case has been solved . The police declared that they had solved the case and when they became aware of his madness and realized what he was capable of, they decided to keep him in hospital in an isolated room .at first he had so many visitors,some of them were acquaintances ,some were fans but none of them were me for I didn't have the courage to face him .now that I'm dying to see him I can't because he killed himself in the first year of his being in jail,the police never revealed the truth about his death and they didn't show us his corpse for that I understood that it was so bad that they were afraid of the impact it would have on other's minds .after all those years the thought of him never left me. I thought about him when I was alone when I did the households. I thought about him when I whatched our child's playing. When our child started to ask about him there was nothing I could explain for him expect telling him that he died in a war and I told him how great he was !!I was scared to death because as our child grew older he became more alike of his father,one day I caught him burring a dead mouse which he revealed later that he killed the mouse because his noise teased him.another time the manager of his school wanted me and told me that he put his fingers in his classmate's eyes because he wanted to see how does it feel to touch someone's eyes. I didn't know what to do until one day I decided to tell him the truth about my mad man I told him how we fell in love in first sight,how it felt good to hold his hands and be in his arms I told him how nice everything was until I saw him hitting our young neighbor who had crush on me I told him how he was bleeding and how he was breathing in that moment I thought I didn't know my beloved .that was the first sign of his madness he did so many horrible things that I couldn't even explain them to my son. I told him about our break up and how I left him without letting him know that I was pregnant because I was scared that he would hurt my baby with the things he do due to his madness. The first thing that my son asked was"Where is he now?and please don't tell me that he was martyred in a war and his soul is in peace and we lived happily ever after. "I couldn't hide the truth anymore so I read aloud him the letter he had left for me the day befor the event. "Dear Sara I don't want to say how are you because I know you won't reply me so I tell you how I am instead. I feel great i feel amazing ive never had this feeling.Remember you always told me that I'm mad guess what it turns out that I wasn't mad and it was just the overacuteness of my sences you think that I didnt know that you were pregnant but I knew it perfectly because I knew how deep you were in love with me and you never even mention leaving me although I knew you were in pain .so I searched a lot after you left me and I realized that you were pregnant.

Dear beloved ,I still love you and i know that you do to.I still think about you and your hair when you leave them in the wind and let the wind stir it. I remember your eyes how black they were you said you don't love them but I could die for those beautiful creatures which give me the reason to live.

Dear beloved, I think I'm betraying you and I wanted to confess that these days I'm thinking about another eyes which are not yours the eye of an old man has got  all my attention .I feel I have to get rid of  them .I'm so sad that it's always in my mind instead of your eyes I think that's why I need to kill him and make him blind or maybe it's not the reason .I never confessed for myself and I won't but I'm telling you that the reason that I watch the old man every night that I think abou this exact plan for killing him is you. I want to think about your eyes not his .in the mean time I'm thinking about our baby's eyes it should be black as yours or it shouldn't. Because your eyes are just yours I really want to see you but first I should kill the man and get rid of his eye then i come and prove you that I wouldn't hurt our baby im gonna be the geatest dad that has ever been in this planet I want to look at your eyes and don't care about anything else in the world. 

sincerely your lover

After finishing the letter,while we were crying in each other's arms I was thinking about the obscure future that was holding for my little mad man...